Yikes 38W

Technically 12 days til “D” day. Arrival date is my late Grandmother’s birthday so as much as I want this to be done, it would be amazing for my son to share her birthdate.
I feel eh. Mainly the pubic bone pain makes me act like Chris Farley putting a small coat on when I try to roll over in bed, put pants on, or use my foot to swoosh my cat out of my way (he tries killing me by running between my feet). Mood wise I am scared and anxious of labor pains. My plan is to not do the epidural but I haven’t completely ruled it out either. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
The nursery is done now BUT our bathroom is another story. We found black mold so we gutted it about 2 months ago and it has been an ongoing project like that Tom Hanks movie Money Pit. It has been a nightmare. Both the tub and shower wall we ordered were delivered cracked or broken. Awesome. Drywall WAS my husbands gig years ago before joining the Army and becoming a police officer. Let’s just say he should stick to arresting people. God bless him but dayum. He has done a great job but not exactly the quickest. I am questioning the ceiling where I can totally see air bubbles in the seam tape. I shall not say shit or I’ll get the look. So whatever. I’m not a control freak (lies) but I do best when the house is in order. I do not function well amongst chaos and I’m freaking that we will be painting when I am tired and home with a 3 day old.
Ok. Enough about that- getting in and out of my Jeep is getting pretty damn uncomfortable these days. I LOVE my car but I hate the 4″ lift at the moment. My pubes feel like fire when I step in or out. I could drive the husband’s Tahoe buuuuuuuuut the last time I attempted that I smelled smoke coming from a tire. Why but of course!! The wheel bearing needs replaced because we have all the time in the world to jerk around with that. Needless to say it sits in the garage and we just use the jeep. Luckily he has a take home cruiser for work so he never rarely needs the Jeep and I have never been without a car. He refuses to take it to a drive thru (afraid a disgruntled somebody will spit in his latte or burger) or to the store or any other personal related matter. He firmly believes it is for work only. I’m sure some officers abuse that privilege but considering they put their lives on the line everyday at work I would say that using those cars in their own time is or should be a given perk… Also- police presence is sometimes enough to keep things chill in the surrounding area. Husbands point of view is pretty much- this is my office. I don’t want to sit in my office on my day off. I get it- but c’mon man!!!! My twat bone hurts so take the damn cruiser when we go out to eat or fix the Tahoe!!!!!!!
And then there is the bar/restaurant I am opening. F.
I intended for a soft opening prior to Super Bowl. Then I settled for a pushed back date of St.Patrick’s Day. But, between special order or back order for crap we needed or the basic hold ups from contractors…. Now I am looking at an opening date in about 4 weeks. AWESOME SAUCE. A 2 week old, training staff, setting up POS systems, ordering food and booze, being present for final inspection, and grand opening. This should be fun.
So there is life in a nutshell for me lately. I won’t even discuss my photography business because it had been non existent with all of the other chaos. That truly saddens me because I adore it. I need it. Ugh.
I know it sounds like I’m bitchy but in all honesty I am super stoked to meet our son in 12 days give or take. I’m so happy to see all of the recent success stories on here and I am also amazed at the strength of the women who have not found their answer yet. Every blog I read inspires me in some way or the other and I look forward reading updates when I can. To all of you- good luck, good vibes, happy moments, and all my love.
PS- I look like hell in this pic !!!! It was a long day, I was tired, and standing in office at bar that I can’t seem to finish!!!!!

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Decisions decisions

Breastfeeding? Jury is still out
Epidural? Jury is still out.
Pros and cons to both topics. I have a very low pain tolerance but a part of me wants to attempt “natural”. My friends are 50/50 on breastfeeding.
Anybody have any enlightening advice that I can’t find myself on Google?

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Nursery fun!

Before we knew if baby was boy or girl, I had my heart set on a Dr.Seuss theme because I loved the books growing up and I’m not a huge fan of the standard animal themes. Here is a sneak peek of the ideas we are incorporating

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The walls will be painted like this picture:

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Can’t wait to start painting! Still searching for that perfect dresser to match the armoire. I’ve found plenty of dressers but they haven’t been wide enough for a changing pad. Anywho, I can’t wait to post pics of the final finish!!! Operation nursery begins next weekend after we get through this nasty weather. Not feeling like driving around in this crap!

24 weeks and suffering

MAH GAWD the heartburn!!! Son of a mother ;@%#ing €%#£¥!!!!!!
So the doc “prescribes” me Nexium at a tune of $79 AFTER insurance. The pharmacist asst proceeds to inform me it is available over the counter.
What
The
Fuuuuuu_________?????
beyond irritated. So the manufacturer produces the same drug available by prescription or OTC one for $278/one for $12.99??????? Am I missing something or is this asst a goof? I’d call the doc but office is closed. Son of uhhhh beotch.
Sorry for ranting but I am SICK of belching and puking stomach acid and sitting up half the night because of evil heartburn. Enough is enough.
And here is my happy pic for the day to keep from strangling somebody- me and my Christmas pug (incase you didn’t get a card)

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20 weeks!!!

Time seems to be flying and we haven’t even begun the nursery. Ugh. Between holidays, opening a bar, and every other day duties, I am exhausted!!! Weight gain has been minimal, I have a nasty cold, I don’t have the patience to copy and paste the weekly update things I read (but my answers have stayed the same so I would be boring to catch up on) EX: my rings are in, belly button in, of course I’m moody because I am dealing with thieves contractors, we all have the same app to say how big baby is but mine is measuring 5 days ahead of schedule so a big mango he is, no stretch marks, and so on. Here is my most recent bump pic. I swear my friends weren’t showing this much so early but they say everybody is different! Super excited it’s a boy and can’t wait to start decorating baby Silas’ room!!!!

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17 weeks and no blood test?

Yep. Last week’s pic:) Stoked to have come this far but confused as to why doctor doesn’t feel it necessary to do any tests for abnormalities. He says he likes to wait until he has reason to believe it is necessary. M’kay. I’m a worrier! That should be reason enough. He said we could if we wanted to but honestly I felt dumb at that point to insist upon it. He said if he sees any precursors to any conditions on ultrasound then he will go ahead with further testing. His practice goes with the combo of holistic and conventional- with that being said he believes the waiting on results will simply cause me unnecessary stress. Boo. I figured it was a no brainer being 40yrs old and an IVF patient but I guess not. Dang it!!! I also secretly wanted to know gender of our bugaboo too. Alas I shall wait until December 1st to find out if baby is boy or girl. Drats!!!
As far as how I feel? Super I suppose. Not getting sick, nauseous, dizzy, or moody. However…… I “may” have a bladder infection. Good. Times. Aside from peeing all the time (sometimes 3 trips in 30 minutes) I have a dull lower backache. I thought all that was par for the course but to be safe I rang the office and mentioned it and nurse said, “ohhhhhhhh, hmmmmmm, yea go ahead and give me your pharmacy info and I’ll send order for labs to blah blah blah and let doctor C know.” I asked if she thought I really had one and she said it sure sounds like it. So, pending urinalysis, I may or may not be treating that with some antibiotics tomorrow. Suuuuuuper.
Other pregnancy facts in a nutshell:
My rings are on, my belly button is in, I sleep great, I’m not moody, I can eat anything, I don’t crave anything, we all know what size my baby is if we all pay attention to the same apps :), my weight gain is barely there, I won’t talk about signs of labor until it happens, and those lists are way too much for me to fill out every week with all I have going on right now.
Recap of hectic life-
I own my own photography business which keeps me busy on weekends and editing on evenings.
I work part time at a jewelry store because a friend owns it and well…. I love jewelry.
I am opening a bar/restaurant extremely close to Notre Dame and contractors really piss me off.
Photography will probably get cut down quite a bit- maybe a session or 2 a week mayyyyyybe. I love it so I will never give it up. Jewelry store can kiss my ass because the bar will consume me no doubt.
BUT I love hectic and I love goals!!!! I look forward to this business and I am excited to call it my own (well half mine half partner’s)
After taking week 16 belly shot, I mildly freaked thinking “am
I porking out or showing too soon???” Even had to Google some other 17 week bellies to see. Especially after hearing from so many girls how they didn’t even start showing until they were 6months along. Well lah dee frickin dah!!! Not being a hater but secretly was hoping to be the same way. Ok. I’m hatin 🙂
Tahhhh dahhhhh

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Sweet 16

I made it this far. 16 weeks. But when does the worrying stop? The wondering if there is still another little heartbeat inside of me. Met with the therapist at OB practice. She was a flake. Did me ZERO good. She was lame. I honestly question what degree she holds. She asked me random questions about family members and husband and how we met, what I do for a living, blah blah blah. I managed to say in one sentence how the anxiety consumes me. We didn’t really discuss it past that. She handed me a shit CD to listen to and said to practice the exercise in it once daily. How bout you blow me once daily. (Sorry but honestly speaking my mind here).
Anywho…. Happy that I’m in a position to worry about being pregnant but not happy that I cannot let go and just enjoy this moment. Am I crazy? Until then I will snuggle my pug and hope for the best that baby is doing good. UGH

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Weekly update- WEEK 13

How far along: 13w3d

Baby’s size: approx. 3″ long. About the size of a peach. (I assume they mean balled up? Or maybe the length of a peach? I’ve eaten peaches much bigger than this.

Total weight gain: have no clue. Last appointment at 10 weeks I was up 3.4lbs from where I was when I left IVF doctor. I don’t own a scale. Never have. I go by inches. And so far I’m doing pretty ok. I’m sure that shit will change some day. Until then, enjoying the minor bloat? Poof? Tummy? Intestines migrating north to make room for uterus? Hell I don’t know.

Maternity clothes: Nope. Been managing with hair ties and belly bands. My favorite wardrobe choice= adorbs shirt with jacket or cardigan combo/or long sweater and my favorite rider boots over a pair of comfy stretch pants. Time to go buy more boots :))) darn.

Stretch marks: so far so good. If it happens, I’ll be researching laser correction. Not really the vain type but I do prefer bikinis. And don’t get me wrong- I will cherish each and every mark this baby gives me (for the short time I decide to keep those marks)

Sleep: I fall out in less than 2 minutes but wake up 2-3 times to pee. For the most part I sleep 8-10 hours but sometimes I can’t get back to sleep once my eyes open.Woke up at 5:45 on Saturday morning and that was it. Up all day till 11.

Symptoms/Feeling: tired “ish” but nothing too crazy. No nausea or morning sickness–just the occassional awesome dry heave. And speaking of feeling…. I CANNOT feel my fundus!! Is there a fundus amongus? I know how to and what to feel for but can’t find it!!!! Another bullet to add to the “Why Tina Worries” list. Am I the only one?

Best moment of this week: doctor appointment in 2 days- I’m sure that will be my highlight as I hope to be reassured that the heart is still beating. I’m sick with worry. 2nd moment- signing papers for liquor license for the new bar and grill I’m opening. Yay!!!

Miss anything: buttoning my silver jeans and not being scared to have sex or the big “O”. Don’t ask me why. I know that doc said fine but I’m still nervous and apprehensive. Gve in to hubs once. Thank God he is patient and understands my anxiety.

Movement: I’m sure the babe is cutting a rug in there but I doubt I feel it. Every once in awhile I feel a blurb but I’ll chalk it up to gas :0

Food cravings: Italiano. All. Day. Everyday. Maybe some Mexican food in between. (And fruity pebbles). Hell I want everything.

Anything making you queasy or sick: just my ultra sensitive gag reflex. No nausea to warn me it’s coming though. Just a certain smell or for no reason at all I’ll dry heave for a second and feel fine afterwards. Weird

Have you started to show yet: not really. Can’t wait to though- maybe it would reassure me that things are moving along appropriately? Doubtful hah!

Gender: It’s a mystery still. Debating on finding out through chromosome test. Hubby thinks ultrasound would be more exciting for the reveal. Personally, I wanna know what to start shopping for!!!! Well, when I feel less scared about this then I’ll start shopping.

Labor signs: ummmmm no

Belly button in or out: In, and reallllllly hoping it stays that way. Eeeewwww

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Happy or moody most of the time: Those who know me say I’m moody but honestly I think I’m overall happy with a dash of fear and anxiety. Husband says I just seem more sensitive and cry more. Not like a mad or sad cry- like a “oh wow that commercial for Kleenex was so sweet” kinda cry.

Looking forward to: Actually showing and being less worried about this pregnancy ending. When will it end??!!

Purchases for baby: A handful of Dr.Seuss books and stuffed animals to go with the Seuss themed nursery 🙂 a friend of ours does interior design and I am SO excited to see what she comes up with. Just got a beautiful solid wood/ painted white armoire to go in there. How much? FREE!!! Gotta love friends. And speaking of purchases- I hope they make a toast costume for babies because hubby and I are bacon and eggs this year for Halloween. Next year we shall add toast 🙂