It’s GO TIME

Not due until next week but my son has other plans! Can’t believe after 10 years, our loss, and failed IVF, our angel is finally coming. I haven’t cried yet but I will…. Like ridiculously. Went from 0-5cm and just got that epidural I said I didn’t want. Yea- F it. I am not a bad ass and I’m ok with that!!!! Can’t wait to post his pics :)))

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Yikes 38W

Technically 12 days til “D” day. Arrival date is my late Grandmother’s birthday so as much as I want this to be done, it would be amazing for my son to share her birthdate.
I feel eh. Mainly the pubic bone pain makes me act like Chris Farley putting a small coat on when I try to roll over in bed, put pants on, or use my foot to swoosh my cat out of my way (he tries killing me by running between my feet). Mood wise I am scared and anxious of labor pains. My plan is to not do the epidural but I haven’t completely ruled it out either. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
The nursery is done now BUT our bathroom is another story. We found black mold so we gutted it about 2 months ago and it has been an ongoing project like that Tom Hanks movie Money Pit. It has been a nightmare. Both the tub and shower wall we ordered were delivered cracked or broken. Awesome. Drywall WAS my husbands gig years ago before joining the Army and becoming a police officer. Let’s just say he should stick to arresting people. God bless him but dayum. He has done a great job but not exactly the quickest. I am questioning the ceiling where I can totally see air bubbles in the seam tape. I shall not say shit or I’ll get the look. So whatever. I’m not a control freak (lies) but I do best when the house is in order. I do not function well amongst chaos and I’m freaking that we will be painting when I am tired and home with a 3 day old.
Ok. Enough about that- getting in and out of my Jeep is getting pretty damn uncomfortable these days. I LOVE my car but I hate the 4″ lift at the moment. My pubes feel like fire when I step in or out. I could drive the husband’s Tahoe buuuuuuuuut the last time I attempted that I smelled smoke coming from a tire. Why but of course!! The wheel bearing needs replaced because we have all the time in the world to jerk around with that. Needless to say it sits in the garage and we just use the jeep. Luckily he has a take home cruiser for work so he never rarely needs the Jeep and I have never been without a car. He refuses to take it to a drive thru (afraid a disgruntled somebody will spit in his latte or burger) or to the store or any other personal related matter. He firmly believes it is for work only. I’m sure some officers abuse that privilege but considering they put their lives on the line everyday at work I would say that using those cars in their own time is or should be a given perk… Also- police presence is sometimes enough to keep things chill in the surrounding area. Husbands point of view is pretty much- this is my office. I don’t want to sit in my office on my day off. I get it- but c’mon man!!!! My twat bone hurts so take the damn cruiser when we go out to eat or fix the Tahoe!!!!!!!
And then there is the bar/restaurant I am opening. F.
I intended for a soft opening prior to Super Bowl. Then I settled for a pushed back date of St.Patrick’s Day. But, between special order or back order for crap we needed or the basic hold ups from contractors…. Now I am looking at an opening date in about 4 weeks. AWESOME SAUCE. A 2 week old, training staff, setting up POS systems, ordering food and booze, being present for final inspection, and grand opening. This should be fun.
So there is life in a nutshell for me lately. I won’t even discuss my photography business because it had been non existent with all of the other chaos. That truly saddens me because I adore it. I need it. Ugh.
I know it sounds like I’m bitchy but in all honesty I am super stoked to meet our son in 12 days give or take. I’m so happy to see all of the recent success stories on here and I am also amazed at the strength of the women who have not found their answer yet. Every blog I read inspires me in some way or the other and I look forward reading updates when I can. To all of you- good luck, good vibes, happy moments, and all my love.
PS- I look like hell in this pic !!!! It was a long day, I was tired, and standing in office at bar that I can’t seem to finish!!!!!

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Hooyah!

What is an appropriate gift for your IVF doctor who gave you a child? I feel like we owe everything to them. Our regular doc was on vacation for attempt #2 and the 2nd doctor changed meds, transfer day, and number of embryos- success!! Even though the 1st doc didn’t make it happen he did the majority of the leg work!
Gift for husband? Bought him a Chris Kyle legend sweatshirt. The movie American Sniper really hit close to home for us. He was speechless when the credits rolled. He was an avid Kyle fan prior to the film and can relate on many levels after his 3 tours post 9/11. I never ask about things he did or saw and he never talked about them either. That movie made that can of worms pop wide open though! I am so proud of the man my husband is and everything he sacrificed for our country. Hearing the war from a soldier’s perspective weighs more to me than what all of these news an TV personalities have to say.
Gift for me? The same sweatshirt for the husband. 🙂
Throughout the film our boy rolled and kicked the entire 2+ hours. Hubby is convinced we have a future warrior on our hands. I can only hope that no matter what our son chooses in life, he becomes even half the man my husband is. He will be a lucky boy to have him for a daddy. Here is our latest ultrasound pic- we think he’s saying “Hooyah!!”

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Weekly update- WEEK 13

How far along: 13w3d

Baby’s size: approx. 3″ long. About the size of a peach. (I assume they mean balled up? Or maybe the length of a peach? I’ve eaten peaches much bigger than this.

Total weight gain: have no clue. Last appointment at 10 weeks I was up 3.4lbs from where I was when I left IVF doctor. I don’t own a scale. Never have. I go by inches. And so far I’m doing pretty ok. I’m sure that shit will change some day. Until then, enjoying the minor bloat? Poof? Tummy? Intestines migrating north to make room for uterus? Hell I don’t know.

Maternity clothes: Nope. Been managing with hair ties and belly bands. My favorite wardrobe choice= adorbs shirt with jacket or cardigan combo/or long sweater and my favorite rider boots over a pair of comfy stretch pants. Time to go buy more boots :))) darn.

Stretch marks: so far so good. If it happens, I’ll be researching laser correction. Not really the vain type but I do prefer bikinis. And don’t get me wrong- I will cherish each and every mark this baby gives me (for the short time I decide to keep those marks)

Sleep: I fall out in less than 2 minutes but wake up 2-3 times to pee. For the most part I sleep 8-10 hours but sometimes I can’t get back to sleep once my eyes open.Woke up at 5:45 on Saturday morning and that was it. Up all day till 11.

Symptoms/Feeling: tired “ish” but nothing too crazy. No nausea or morning sickness–just the occassional awesome dry heave. And speaking of feeling…. I CANNOT feel my fundus!! Is there a fundus amongus? I know how to and what to feel for but can’t find it!!!! Another bullet to add to the “Why Tina Worries” list. Am I the only one?

Best moment of this week: doctor appointment in 2 days- I’m sure that will be my highlight as I hope to be reassured that the heart is still beating. I’m sick with worry. 2nd moment- signing papers for liquor license for the new bar and grill I’m opening. Yay!!!

Miss anything: buttoning my silver jeans and not being scared to have sex or the big “O”. Don’t ask me why. I know that doc said fine but I’m still nervous and apprehensive. Gve in to hubs once. Thank God he is patient and understands my anxiety.

Movement: I’m sure the babe is cutting a rug in there but I doubt I feel it. Every once in awhile I feel a blurb but I’ll chalk it up to gas :0

Food cravings: Italiano. All. Day. Everyday. Maybe some Mexican food in between. (And fruity pebbles). Hell I want everything.

Anything making you queasy or sick: just my ultra sensitive gag reflex. No nausea to warn me it’s coming though. Just a certain smell or for no reason at all I’ll dry heave for a second and feel fine afterwards. Weird

Have you started to show yet: not really. Can’t wait to though- maybe it would reassure me that things are moving along appropriately? Doubtful hah!

Gender: It’s a mystery still. Debating on finding out through chromosome test. Hubby thinks ultrasound would be more exciting for the reveal. Personally, I wanna know what to start shopping for!!!! Well, when I feel less scared about this then I’ll start shopping.

Labor signs: ummmmm no

Belly button in or out: In, and reallllllly hoping it stays that way. Eeeewwww

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Happy or moody most of the time: Those who know me say I’m moody but honestly I think I’m overall happy with a dash of fear and anxiety. Husband says I just seem more sensitive and cry more. Not like a mad or sad cry- like a “oh wow that commercial for Kleenex was so sweet” kinda cry.

Looking forward to: Actually showing and being less worried about this pregnancy ending. When will it end??!!

Purchases for baby: A handful of Dr.Seuss books and stuffed animals to go with the Seuss themed nursery 🙂 a friend of ours does interior design and I am SO excited to see what she comes up with. Just got a beautiful solid wood/ painted white armoire to go in there. How much? FREE!!! Gotta love friends. And speaking of purchases- I hope they make a toast costume for babies because hubby and I are bacon and eggs this year for Halloween. Next year we shall add toast 🙂