5W2d

Had a slight scare moment Friday night. Had cramping, not horrible but enough to irritate, and slight TMI spotting. Also had a pain in my side. With my history of ectopic it threw my mind into overdrive so we went to ER. After a pelvic exam, blood tests, a catheter that felt like it was made of barbed wire, and an ultrasound, all is well. Doc said no need to worry and everything looks great. Even saw the sac/yolk sac on the screen right where it should be. Beta went from 348 to 1361 in 2 days. Phew. As my good friend said, “welcome to motherhood and all the worrying that comes with it.”
Next ultrasound scheduled for
September 2nd. Hopefully we get to see or hear the heartbeat to put our minds at ease a little more.
So IVF#2 is still the winner.

9dp3dt

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Still faint but still there. Could this be the real thing? Am I going to make it to Friday without losing my effin gourd over this??? GAHHHHHHHH
I keep analyzing the pic and holding it, tilting it, and just still in disbelief. I won’t believe it til I hear a good beta result. I’m so afraid to get my hopes up. The husband got super excited and then pulled his guard back up and said he’s going crazy for Friday too. He said that’s all he could think about while driving around at work. While handcuffing somebody he said he had it in his head. He’s a hot mess like me and we just want an official “everything is okay” which we won’t believe until we are at LEAST 12 weeks along. Hell, we may not believe it until we’re in the delivery room. For all that is holy and good… PLEASE let this be a BFP. After the 1st IVF failed I can honestly say I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence going into round 2. Ugh.
(Chewing my fingers)

For the love of acne

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3 days ago my skin was beautiful. Then BOOM zits, bumps, pimples, everywhere on my chest and randomly all over on face. I could cry. I didn’t even have it this bad when I hit puberty. Had zero of this on 1st cycle. I’m not vain but I don’t dig lookin like this either. Just cried and basically had mini melt down on way to bed. Hubby tried to reassure me I was still beautiful. Bless his heart but I told him he better run before I punched his mouth said something mean. OMG when will this garbage stop??? Has the devil progesterone done this to any of you?? I
HATE
THESE
MEDS
6 DAYS TIL BETA!!!!

6dp3dt WHY did I POAS???

Dumb is the only word I can think of. “Of course it’s too early” is what I keep telling myself as I held the BFN in my hand. “Wait is that a line turning the subtraction sign into a + ?” No it’s just my eyes going crossed as I stand on the bathroom sink holding the pee pee wand at an angle between the sunlight and the light above sink. Ho hum. It’s too early. But I read SO MANY women getting the “faintest of faint” or “squinter” lines and figured I’d be just as lucky. And even knowing all this I am still bummed out.
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So do I hold out now or do I POAS everyday until beta?
The jury is out still.