Retrieval Day!!!

On pain meds and snuggling with my pug following this morning’s retrieval.

Today went better than expected. This whole stimming process was a bit different anyways since my previous/regular doctor is on some tropical island somewhere so I had a different one this time around. Last time I went to only 2 monitoring US appts. This time I had to drive 2 hours each way for 4 days in a row. This doctor tinkered with my meds twice right at the end. Result= 21 eggs retrieved today AND he said quality and size looks like it’s improved compared to last retrieval (13). He also has “the touch” because while I do feel my abdomen was trampled in Madrid on a bull run, I feel WAY better in comparison than the last one. Not saying my regular doc isn’t any good buuuuuut- better results and less pain with this new guy doing the retrieval. Now I wait for the phone call tomorrow to update me on embryo progress. COME ON ALL 21 of you!!!!!!!!

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“Was” Feeling Normal

Haven’t even started the stims and already I have issues. This round of oral BC has me bloated, cramping, and miserable. Now for the TMI…. I am spotting with a whole week’s worth of active pills to take yet. Called and RN said yadda yadda breakthrough spotting. Mkay. Why? Same stuff I took last time and didn’t have this 😦
This better not be a sign of shit goin South already.

Feeling Normal

Only 2 weeks until stims start. Very proud of myself for not googling or obsessing the “what ifs” this time. Just going with the flow (hopefully there is no flow next month). My calm approach or plan of action this time was to get back to writing my book. Fortunately, I have been way too busy with my photography business to go there. So yay for that!! I even managed to get through a few newborn sessions without wanting to cry or throw up with jealousy. That’s a HUGE step for me. Honestly, I don’t even care about the upcoming attempt. Whatever happens will happen for a reason. I am definitely more calm this time around and understand the whole process. Of course I’ll be a total miserable jerk if we get our 2nd BFN, but from there our focus will be adoption. So whatever. Yes I want to give birth to my own child but more than anything I just want to have a child as my own. So I guess I just feel normal these days. The last time I endured 2 weeks of pure depression. For what? It didn’t change anything. All I did by being miserable was waste 2 weeks of life I can’t go back and relive. We all have crappy days but I have to believe an especially good day will come my way eventually. I feel optimistic but realistic. I was so sure it’d work the 1st time. This time, I am sure it’ll work too (maybe) but I refuse to let the first failure shape my way of thinking this time. A negative approach is no good. So if it works (hope so) then YAY!! If it doesn’t, well #@*€ it… We’ll adopt. Either way, someday I will do a newborn photo session of our child.